Loading... Please wait...

No Regerts

The Best Hair In A Galaxy Far Far Away (mild spoilers)

A short time ago in a keyword synergy department down the hall...

Like half the sentient population of the planet, we went to Star Wars: The Force Awakens a buncha times this weekend (loved it) and really don't feel like pretending there's anything else to discuss this week. So, let's talk Star Wars and hot hair!

Star Wars has plenty of inspiration -and maybe even some pinspiration- for up-and-comers seeking to vary their looks with something truly out-of-this-world.

(And don't worry, we'll put in spoiler warnings!)

A Hipster's Guide To Star Wars Hair: The Top Five

5 - Mark Hamill (Like Skywalker)

If you're feeling the call of the retro and want relive the good old days of Nixon, Vietnam, and Bell-Bottoms, you can't go wrong with a classic Skywalker. It sends off waves of windswept wistfulness, perfect for everyone who dreams of greatness but just can't move out of the family garage.

This is hair that says "Yeah, I may be a farm boy, but my lightsaber has one hell of a pedigree!"

[SPOILER:] Newcomer droid BB-8 was built by Luke's faithful servants, R2D2 and C-3PO, in a single magical evening which both now refuse to discuss.

4 - Peter Mayhew (Chewbacca)

Like 'em bare... or like a bear? You don't have to speak Bocce to know what we mean when we say ArrrrROOORRRooooOUUUU!!! Big hair is coming back, and long luxurious hair always impresses, so we think you should push that to the limit like ol' Chewie here. Don't fear the power of your back hair; embrace it and let its power flow through you!

(Then buy a few bottles of Duffy's Brew, which makes your hair smell great no matter where it grows.)

[SPOILER:] Chewbacca is killed in a Yuuzhan Vong attack.

3 - Matt Doran (Elan Sleazebaggano)

Who doesn't want a death stick when Elan is selling, amirite? This neo-Victorian look is all the rage on Coruscant and in trendy cities across the universe, virtually guaranteeing success in any bar you stumble drunkenly into.

Just don't hit on a Jedi.

[SPOILER:] Elan ignored Obi-Wan's advice and only turned his life around decades later after hitting rock-bottom with a job at The First Order's ad agency.

2 - Adam Driver (Kylo Ren)

Like Melrose-era Heather Locklear taken to an extreme, Kylo Ren has the ultimate in I-don't-give-two-poodoos helmet hair. When your job involves mental torture, wanton slaughter, and the devastation of worlds, who has time for combs?

Ren weaves a tangled web of unkempt raven locks, perfect for someone who could slice-n-dice you in a single tantrum. For anyone who finds themselves working a corporate job and loving it, Ren's look could be your path to ultimate power.

(But we'd still recommend he use some Duffy's Brew, at least once a month, to prevent dandruff.)

[SPOILER:] Kylo Ren is secretly half-Wookiee, and endures a grueling 5-hour shaving regime every day to maintain his humanesque appearance. We blame unrealistic galactic beauty standards for his turn to evil.

1 - Greg Grunberg (Snap Wexley)

Fans of JJ Abrams have long admired this suave earthy everyman, but never before has his subtle charisma had such an effect on the Outer Rim... and never before has he had such a beard. Erupting magnificently from his chin, it completes Greg in a way he's never been completed before.

With that tussled hair, soulful eyes, and full-on Al Borland, Greg looks like he can't wait to slither out of that flight suit and straight into some flannel.

And that sounds good to us!

[SPOILER:] Snap Wexley is revealed to be Wedge Antilles' father's brother's nephew's cousin's former roommate.

Back to Top