How InBev Wasted A Whole Lotta Money On The Superbowl
Man, does InBev think we're all a bunch of morons or what?
And I'm not even talking about Peyton Manning's supposedly off-the-cuff endorsements of Budweiser and Bud Light during post-game interviews. InBev (who owns Bud) claims he wasn't paid for it, but does anyone actually believe it?
Here at Duffy's Brew, we own up to our shameless self-promotion!
But no, beyond that... Despite owning the official beer of the Super Bowl -- that would be Budweiser -- and trying to build some indie cred too, their attempts at outreach during Super Bowl 50 fell as flat as the head on their beers. Their various Super-ads really just demonstrated how out-of-touch the brand is with beer drinkers.
So forget about plugging our amazing line of beer-based hair care products. Today I mostly just want to complain about how terrible InBev's ads were, and why they are a harbinger of things to come if the Uberbeer merger goes through.
How InBev's SB50 Commercials Basically Sucked Ass
It's hard to know which face-palmy moment is most Picardesque, but just for starters...
InBev Blew A Couple Million Bucks So Seth Rogen Could Quote ID4
Ok, first off, who actually thinks Seth Rogen is that funny? He's too geeky to be cool, and too cool to actually be geeky, and thus manages to find that sweet spot of appealing to almost nobody. And likewise, the Bud Light Party spot was trying so hard to be edgy, without actually being edgy. Like talking about their "huge caucus" so that "caucus" almost sounded like "cock ass."
(Such totes edgy. So trends.)
But it's all a great example of how desperate they are to appeal to both blue collars and hipsters, and pretty much failing at both.
However, the bigger joke is this: Super Bowl ads cost an average of $166,000 per second to air, on top of their production costs. So taking ten seconds for Seth to needlessly quote a twenty-year-old movie literally cost more than a million bucks, and didn't even have a punchline.
Great use of money, huh?
InBev Fails To Gain Indie Cred By Burying An Actual Comic
And then there's what they did with TJ Miller, who is pretty funny and creative. What do you do with a popular indie comic? Well, if you're InBev, you make him play second-fiddle to one of your recent small brewery acquisitions, that's what!
In their Shock Top Unfiltered Talk spot, he's forced to play straight man to a talking orange with a mohawk and lame comebacks. And check out those fake laughs! This is supposed to make us think that InBev-owned brands are cool?
Or There's The Utter Waste of Helen Mirren
So, I feel a little bad dumping on an anti-drunk driving spot, even if it does have the cold air of corporate cynicism. But even here, we see how desperate they are to almost be edgy, without actually managing it.
In Simply Put, Helen "Gorgeous Granny" Mirren lectures the camera about what horrible people drunk drivers are. But her insults weren't even that biting. They managed to be low-class enough to sound strange coming from her, but not low-class enough (ie, obscene) to actually be interesting or compelling.
And of course, she also has to plug Budweiser as she leans in for a sip, since apparently even a public awareness message must be self-promotional.
So, there's the beery future we have to look forward to: A future of InBev desperately trying to be all things to all people, and failing miserably.
Well, at least we can all facepalm while having totally awesome hair, right?